Seeing Double

I am so excited to shout from the roof tops- or the internet. I am seeing double. Double pink lines
The Lord has blessed my womb with another growing eternal soul.  I am trying to not let my weariness take hold and fill me with doubt, and also trying not to hold too tightly to souls that are just my gifts for a small while, whether that be a few weeks or 80 years.
God is always just and I will praise him, for we are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of Him. I know my chief end is to glorify and enjoy Him forever.

Psalm 127:4-5
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
    are the children of one's youth. 
 Blessed is the man
    who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
    when he speaks with his enemies in the gate

Matthew 6:25-34
 
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

So for now I invite you to share in my joy- and if you will pray for peace and a healthy baby and if the Lord wills we will have a new bundle of joy to hold in the fall. Amen

Repurposed crib

Today I thought I would pop in, just to show how I cloth diaper at our new home.
Things are a bit different here; we have 3 levels of space- upper level is 4 bedrooms and 2 baths, main level is 2 living areas and kitchen/eating space and half bath, basement is large play area, 5th bedroom/office and laundry and storage.
I have our changing table set up in the family room- because that is where we are most the time, and I like a changing table so I can store the diapers on the shelves.

 In our last home one of our bathrooms was very large so I kept everything in there to cloth diaper.

Now I have our wet bag and wet pail, right out in our garage, the door is within a few feet of the changing table/ family room.  Sometimes for a soiled diaper I have to run 10 feet to the half bath to flush the waste, but it is fun having everything in reasonable proximity.  Biggest bonus is the house doesn't get the smell it used to from the wet bags.

So on laundry days- I haul bag and pail down to my basement- do my wash routine and-then waa laa hang my diapers to dry on this old crib side I saved from a crib we got rid of once. 

 

You can see I also have a small rod to hang on up above the crib piece, I just have the crib piece propped up against the 2x4s and pipes, but I can hang 10-20 diapers at a time all year long.

Maybe this post will help someone struggling with how to hang in a small space or other logistics.

You can always make something work in your situation. 

Pinterest is full of re-purposing ideas

Birthday pics and partial home tour

Awesome gift- tablet computer Nabi 2 from nana and papa

Here are some recent pics of Zoie's 7th birthday 

 party and some shots of our home for the far away family and friends.

Living area

Basement play area

Backyard

Backyard 2

Backyard 3

Child of our hearts

My sweet little gift from God turns 7 at 7 tomorrow morning. She's stubborn, spunky, sassy, silly, super special, a great big sissy and sweet as can be. Happy Birthday Zoie girl.

 Can't believe its been seven years since this little lady was born and almost that long since we got to bring her home. What a thrilling adventure life has been since God brought Zoie into our lives.  She is a loving daughter, wonderful big sister, and can light up any room. She loves freely and genuinely- I pray she keeps such a sweet spirit her whole life, and pray that she continues to love the Lord and grows to serve and glorify Him.

Taken the day before we brought her home- our first look at our sweet girl

Happy 1st Birthday!

Sweet baby girl is ONE! and goofy as can be, Love you Princess Piper Jubilee

I will carry you..

Today I am having an emotional time, as my big girls continue to push the limits and my sinful flesh wants time to my self.
I am wanting to sulk in my pity of losing our sweet Haven, wishing I was still pregnant... I really don't want to discourage anyone, but I really need to get out my thoughts.
Songs can really move us and today they have moved me into a weepy mess.
I love this beautiful song by Selah. The lead singer and his wife wrote it about their sweet daughter that lived just a couple short hours after birth.

I Will Carry You (Audrey's Song)
by Selah
from the album "You Deliver Me"

Lyrics:

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

[Chorus]
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says ...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

[Chorus]

I also have been enjoying Plumb's new one

Plumb – Need You Now (How Many Times) Lyrics

Everybody’s got a story to tell
Everybody’s got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there’s beauty here
Cause Oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can’t let go, I can’t move on
I want to believe there’s meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out
God please take this
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing
Oh I need you, God I need you now

Standing on a road I didn’t plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I’m trying to hear that still small voice
I’m trying to hear above the noise

How many times have you heard me cry out
God please take this
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing
Oh I need you, God I need you now

Oh I walk, Oh I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take

How many times have you heard me cry out
And how many times have you given me strength

How many times have you heard me cry out
God please take this
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing
Oh I need you, God I need you now
I need you now
Oh I need you, God I need you now
I need you now
I need you now

And while I am weeping I wanted to post about where we got Haven's beautiful casket. I ran across this website called Heaven's Gain- they specialize in pregnancy loss burial products.  They also have links to other sites with helpful information for people dealing with the loss of a baby and grief. The owners are christian, and they took the time to hand write us a sweet note and prayer with our order. So check them out or tell others that may need burial products. We were very pleased with the shipment time and the nice quality. Visit their site and view other options and pictures.

Unborn Baby
6 weeks after conception

It is now 6 weeks after my conception. I am protected by the amniotic sac, which is filled with fluid. Inside, I can swim and move gracefully. My face and lips are sensitive to touch. My arms and legs have lengthened, and even my fingers can be seen! My toes will develop in the next few days. Brain waves can be measured.

I look like a baby in miniature, although my head is still very large compared to the rest of my body, because my brain is growing so quickly. Dr. Harley Smyth, a neurologist, testified before the Canadian Supreme Court that "at 6 weeks there is the possibility of recording electrical activity from the nervous system already so highly organized that it can subserve . . . purposeful and even coordinated movements."

I am developing reflexes and am capable of motion. My senses allow interaction with my environment as early as 6 weeks gestation. I would respond if my cheeks were stroked. I can arch my back and push back my head. Sensitivity to touch spreads gradually through the body. At six weeks development, there is no motor cortex in the brain, the cerebellum has not been differentiated from the rest of the hindbrain, and the spinal cord is incomplete. Yet motion occurs, and thought may also be beginning. This gives evidence to the theory that, rather than forming and then beginning to function, embryonic organs function as they form. Learning, therefore, may begin to take place far before the brain structures traditionally thought to be necessary for conscious thought are present.

Unborn Baby
6 weeks after conception
(2 months pregnancy)

"Years ago, while giving an anesthetic for a ruptured tubal pregnancy (at two months) I was handed what I believed to be the smallest human being ever seen. The embryo sac was intact and transparent. Within the sac was a tiny human male, swimming extremely vigorously in the amniotic fluid, while attached to the wall by the umbilical cord. The tiny human was perfectly developed, with long, tapering fingers, feet and toes. It was almost transparent as regards to the skin, and the delicate arteries and veins were prominent to the ends of the fingers. The baby was extremely alive and did not look at all like the photos and drawings of 'embryos', which I have seen. When the sac was opened, the tiny human immediately lost its life and took on what is accepted as the appearance of an embryo at this stage, blunt extremities, etc." Paul E. Rockwood, M.D.

 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9

"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD."
1 Samuel 1:27,28

Home- birth of Piper Jubilee

This is just the slightly edited story I had posted on Facebook the week of Piper's birth- Just thought I should get it on my blog too. :)

On November 24th 2011 at 1:05am we welcomed our 5th daughter into the world in the comfort of our home.
All week and really for the previous month I had a lot of false labor and nights full of contractions. I had been telling everyone for months that I would have this baby the week of Thanksgiving.  Well here it was Wednesday evening and I thought, "man I should have kept my big mouth closed- this baby is going to prove me wrong and I will still be pregnant in December."
I had been having contractions all day off and on- but I hadn't noticed them to be any more often than previous days- while putting the big girls to bed around 9pm I had a big painful contraction- I was excited and thought ooh if I get more of these maybe tonight is the night.  About 20-25 min later I had another extremely painful contraction.  We went ahead and just went to bed like normal. I laid in bed feeling contractions every few minutes- finally at around 10:30p I said to myself- I guess I will get up and time contractions on the internet and see if they go away while I distract myself on facebook. haha
I got on the computer and only timed 2 contractions- they were less than 2 min apart but only lasting 30 seconds. I kept having to go to the bathroom and I was having small contractions while doing that and felt as if I wasn't controlling my bladder very well. These contractions were painful enough that I just wanted to go back and lay down rather than play games on the internet.  I also started having really strong shakes and chills.
I went back to bed and tried to lay quietly but told Levi I think maybe this is it, but I really don't want to call people and be wrong. Around 1045pm I called the midwife- she was preparing some of her Thanksgiving feast but said she would head over in about 20min. We also called over Levi's parents so they could get here from Greeley to be around in case the other children woke up.  Everyone arrived around 1130pm.
I told the midwife how I felt like my bladder was out of control and we were deciding if we thought my water could be broken, however we decided it probably wasn't since I hadn't leaked anywhere, so she checked me and said oh wow, you are at an 8 and bulging water sac, we can break your water if you like and maybe have this baby before Thanksgiving. I said sure break it, I am all about getting this baby girl out soon. So she was able to break it with just her finger.
So water is broken and contractions are coming very fast but still very short-  At 12:15am she said I was complete and could push if I felt like it- so of course I felt like pushing but I don't really think I was quite ready to because I was quite unproductive for what felt like 3 hours and was getting very discouraged with myself and the feeling of not doing good.
we tried many different positions; standing, squatting, kneeling, etc. However I was not feeling good about any of those and kept wanting to just lay in the bed- probably since my last 3 births were in the hospital and that was how I labored.
After some time of unproductive pushing- we decided I should sit over the toilet to let gravity and the pushing feeling be more naturally strong. So after 2 quick contractions there she said the head was moving down so we should try to move back towards the bed between contractions, so I stood up but immediately had another contraction and baby was crowning, so I got on my hands and knees and delivered with the next contraction at 1:05am- right there on the bathroom floor.   We let the cord pulsate for our last birth and this one too, so I quietly laid on the floor holding sweet Piper. The placenta came quite quickly after only about 5 minutes and then I was able to stand up and go lay on the bed with my sweet girl and start nursing her.   We did this for awhile and then after about 40 min probably- they weighed her and took other stats, and we got ready for our herbal bath which was amazing and so calming. Then after the bath got back into bed to settle in for the night and the midwife left by 2:30am.   It was my fastest labor and birth and so awesome to just be at home.  The other girls slept through the whole ordeal and when they awoke Thanksgiving morning they had a new sister to hold.
Piper weighed 6 pounds 10 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long.

15 min old